This is why I got out of the rat race and became my own boss in the first place.
Oh dear. Here it is, 2:30 a.m. - just got in from tonight's gig,
gotta be up at 8 a.m. for tomorrow's gig,
but I have to get back to a client first
and read the Bible.....
want to see a few friends this week and maybe the dentist
because I haven't found a Minute to do that all week (or last week either),
but I'm my own boss
and my own worker
and everything has to get done and I don't like to say no to my clients
including the 'just one more' people at the end of a Five-Hour-with-no-breaks-gig today,
but I learned.
If I could say 'no' to my own children, I have to remember that other people are not more important than my own children. It's just our mixed up ideas of 'who has Power'. There is a point where I do say 'I'm sorry, but no. Thank You, but no. I have to go."
But on my own, the prep work behind closed doors
so I'd show up all super-prepared for any possible contingency, so I can seem sooooo good, well,
that I do. Never stop til it's done and then more comes in. Wouldn't want to be unprepared.
I think it's an arrogance. Of trying to be perfect. And it's Time Now for me to trust that I will be able to do a good job even if I don't get to every possible item on my list of things to prepare.
But
but I have to tell my client that her deposit arrived and the day is hers. Don't I?
And then I have to write it on my Calendars to make sure I don't forget to go. Don't I?
Where/when can I ever lighten up and trust
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Lol - that's where I'm at. I can feel your pain.
How's it going these days, Vi? Are you here?